The Gifts of Serenity
by analogarhythmagic
Summary: Kaylee convinces the crew to go along with a Christmas gift exchange, but, per usual on Serenity, things don't quite turn out as everyone expects.
1. The Drawing

_**Disclaimer:** This is a derivative work of fiction solely intended for private use and entertainment. The author does not profit or benefit materially in any way from its publishing and distribution and, as such, believes the work constitutes fair use under the Fair Use doctrine of U.S. copyright law. All copyrights in the original work are retained by the original authors/owners._

**A/N: This is a short story I wrote about two years ago. Since it's almost Christmas, I figured it was time to dig it out, make some edits (as I'm trying to do with all my stories), and post it again. Hopefully I'll be able to get through it before Christmas gets here. It doesn't particularly matter, but I imagine timeline-wise this takes place somewhere between _"Out of Gas" _and _"Ariel_._"_ As always, enjoy!**

* * *

Kaylee's smile beamed out across the dining room as _Serenity_'s crew found their usual places around the table. She was bubbling with so much excitement that she could hardly keep still. The anticipation had her rocking back and forth on her heels. As far as she could tell, only herself, Mal, and Inara were privy to the surprise coming. Her knowledge of it had just been luck at happening to overhear the captain making arrangements for their next job, but straight away she realized what it meant. The idea had followed right on its heels and she wasted no time in peddling it to Mal. He was all crotchety about it, as usual, but she persisted and managed to strike a deal with him- he would allow it _if_ she could convince Inara. He probably counted on the Companion saying no since she usually declined to participate in this sort of thing because of her beliefs, but he hadn't counted on Kaylee's determination. It took a goodly amount of begging and pleading but she finally convinced Inara to come around, and Mal was stuck with honoring his word.

"I don't s'ppose there's still any hope of talkin' you outta this, is there?" he asked as he hovered next to her by the wall between the galley and dining area. The expression on his face was decidedly less enthusiastic than the one she wore.

"Nope," she answered peppily, unperturbed by his lack of zeal. "I got Inara to go along, and you said you'd let me do it if I did," she flashed a proud smile up at him.

"Yeah, I know," Mal threw an unappreciative look in the Companion's direction. At her seat, Inara lowered her eyes innocently, but could not quite keep the smile from her lips. "All right," he sighed. "Let's get this over with, then." He strode towards the head of the table and Kaylee's nerve's fluttered with giddy anticipation. This was going to be so much fun!

"So here's the plan," Mal leaned on the back of his chair while addressing the assemblage. "Most of you know we're headin' to Persephone. Got a job lined up when we get there. Trick is, it won't be ready for a few days. That means we got some spare time planetside comin' up." A buzz of excitement rippled through the room. "Can't say exactly how long it'll be, but my guess is around a week." The ripple increased noticeably. "In light of that fact, Kaylee," Mal looked to her, "has somethin' special she'd like to share." The crew's attention shifted to her and her eyes twinkled with glee as she took the floor.

"Well," she giggled a little as she started. "Seein' as what time of year for it is and we're actually gonna be planetside for once, I thought it'd be shiny if we had a _real_ Christmas with presents and everything. Now I know none of us has got a lot of money to spend, so I figured out a way to make it easy. Each of us draws a name from out of here," she held up the pot she had been cradling in the crook of her arm the entire time, "and that's the person you buy a gift for. That way we don't have to spend too much tryin' to buy somethin' for everybody, and everyone has a present to open on Christmas. How does that sound?" The reception to her announcement was a little more lukewarm than she expected, but it was still positive, which was a good thing.

"Uhh," Jayne raised his hand slightly in question. "What exactly is it we're doin'?"

"It's a gift exchange, Jayne," Mal clarified with an annoyed glare.

"Yeah. Thank you, Cap'n," said Kaylee, acknowledging him.

"Mmm, that's what I thought you meant," Jayne pursed his lips. "Well, you can count me out," he snuffed, rising from his chair. "No offense, but I don't see no sense in spendin' my hard-earned cash on any o' y'all when there's more important things I could be usin' it for."

"Like what?" Wash blurted out.

"Myself," Jayne snorted with contempt. "'Specially if I got a week of leave to fill."

"It wouldn't kill you to be a little generous once in a while," Zoe countered.

"It might."

"Jayne, you're participatin'. If we're gonna do this, we're _all_ gonna do it," Mal ordered.

"Aw, Mal…"

"Even if that means I gotta dock your pay. _Dong ma_?" Mal raised his eyebrows at his mercenary.

"You ain't serious," Jayne protested, but the captain's gaze held steady. Jayne's face slowly warped into a bitter but futile scowl and he threw himself back in to his chair, muttering.

"Well, I think this is a fine idea," Book intoned, rising from his seat. "Giving gifts is the essence of the Christmas spirit. After all, it's the time we celebrate God giving the greatest gift of all to mankind."

"This little event here just _happens_ to take place around Christmas, Shepherd. Don't go bringin' any religiosity into it," Mal warned him.

"Oh, of course not, Captain." Book replied, solemn. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good. Now that that's settled, Kaylee, how do we do this?" Mal asked, clearly eager to keep things moving.

"Okay… well, we gotta draw names, so I figured I'll go first, and then whoever I pick will draw the next name. Sound fair?" No one dissented, so she took that as a yes. "Here, Cap'n, hold it up for me so I can't see," Kaylee handed the pot to Mal. The captain sighed in a put upon way, but he dutifully held the pot up over her head. Standing on her toes, Kaylee fished around a bit before drawing out a small, folded slip. She opened it and smiled broadly.

"Jayne."

"What?" Jayne grunted, still stewing.

"I picked you."

"So?"

"That means I gotta buy you a present, and you get to pick the next name." She grabbed the pot from Mal and held it out for the big man. Jayne treated it to a glare that said he would rather do anything than stick his hand in there, but Mal caught his eye again with a warning look. Without bothering to sit up, he unceremoniously plopped his hand in and jerked out a name.

"Aw, hell!" he groaned, tossing it on the floor after he read it. Without missing a beat, Kaylee picked up the discarded slip.

"Inara!" she announced.

"Well, at least I know I'll be surprised," Inara responded gamely." Jayne just fixed his sour gaze down the rear hallway and proceeded to ignore everyone.

"All right, that means you're next, Inara," Kaylee held the pot in front of the Companion. Inara averted her eyes and dug in.

"Simon," she turned to the doctor with an amused smile as she read off his name.

"Oh, um… well… that's great," Simon stammered, not sure what to make of her selection. "I guess that means it's my turn, then?" he looked to Kaylee. She presented him with the pot and a glowing smile. Simon reached inside and peered at the name he pulled out. "Mal," he read, staring at the paper and then at the captain, his expression growing even more bemused.

"Good luck with that one, Doc," chuckled Wash.

"Yes. Thank you," Simon replied without humor.

"You're up, Cap," Kaylee said, spinning to him. Mal felt about the pot for a slip in the quickly dwindling collection of names.

"Wash," he read with a slow, deliberate glance at his pilot. Wash's face tinged a shade closer to the color of his hair.

"Heh, I was just kidding about that, Cap'n. I mean, I'm sure it'll be a cinch to find somethin' for you." He turned to Simon. "He really is a great guy, honestly. I mean it. The best captain I've ever had. In fact…"

"Honey, just pick a name," Zoe laid a hand on his arm and stopped him before he could do more damage.

"Oh, right." He reached across the table as Kaylee held the pot out for him. "Maybe I'll luck out and pick you," he grinned back at his wife, trying to change the subject. His grin swiftly faded, however, when he read the name on his piece of paper. "River," he pronounced. "Huh… wow, uh…" his glance fell somewhere between amused and worried as he looked toward the girl. She did not acknowledge him, eyes cast down at the surface of the table, sitting just as quietly as she had since she arrived. "That's, uh… I guess that'll be interesting," Wash said, falling back into his seat.

"It's your turn, River," Kaylee brought the pot over to her. "Go ahead. Pick one," she encouraged with a smile. River looked up, eyeing the pot suspiciously. Then she snatched out a piece of paper like it was a trap that might ensnare her hand. Her dark eyes darted briefly over the name written on it, and then it disappeared into her palm.

"Who is it, River?" Simon asked gently. River glanced up without speaking, her eyes alighting on Book.

"The Shepherd?" Kaylee guessed, following her look.

"Me? Oh my," Book commented.

"I can get her something for you…" Simon started apologetically, but the preacher waved it off.

"Nonsense. I'd be thrilled to get a gift from River. I'm sure she's got something special in mind for me already, don't you, dear?" he smiled warmly at her. River gave no response, her gaze once again fixed steadily on the tabletop.

"Only two names left, Shepherd, and one of 'em's mine," Kaylee grinned, offering the pot to him next. Book reached in.

"Zoe," he read aloud, although there might have been a hint of surprise in his voice as he said it.

"Hey, no worries, Shepherd. I'll just switch with ya," Wash leaped at the opportunity to draw his wife's name instead.

"Actually, I was thinking maybe I should switch with you," Simon broke in. "It might just be easier if I bought for River."

"Well, how 'bout Book gets yours, I give you River, and then I get Zoe. Works for me," Wash suggested.

"Sure," Simon readily agreed.

"No," Kaylee brought their dealings to a halt with a stern look.

"Why not?" Wash asked.

"'Cause it ain't fair for everyone else if you get to swap just to make it easier for you. You gotta buy for who you picked. That's the whole point of drawin' names in the first place."

"But…" Wash stammered. Kaylee glowered at him and crossed her arms, daring him to defy her. He turned to his wife for backup.

"Sorry, husband," Zoe sided with Kaylee. "She put this together, she gets to make the rules."

"Can we at least ask the person what they want?" whined Wash, slouching deeper into his chair in defeat.

"Sure," Kaylee nodded. "Would be pretty hard to get somethin' for someone if you didn't know what they wanted. But," she added with seriousness, "whatever you get has to be kept secret. Everyone should get a surprise on Christmas."

"Not to worry," Book assured. "And I'm certain I can come up with something… suitable for your wife," he smiled at Wash.

"Lookin' forward to it, preacher," Zoe returned good-naturedly. "Guess that means there's only one person left for me," she smiled at Kaylee, pulling the last name from the pot.

"Well, that's it," Kaylee fidgeted with the empty pot, not to sure how to wrap things up. "So…. I guess it's time to go out there and… get good presents!" she pumped her arm like a coach charging up her team.

"Can I go now?" Jayne grumbled, sounding more like a petulant child than a hard-bitten soldier of fortune.

"Yes, Jayne. You can go now," Mal dismissed him wearily.

"Good. _Gorram_ stupid, ruttin' Christmas _gou shi_…" he ranted under his breath as he jerked himself out of his chair and slunk towards the foredeck. The rest of the group began break up slowly as well, meandering towards various parts of the ship. No one was complaining as much as Jayne, but neither did they look all that eager. It was a little disheartening to Kaylee. She hoped everyone would do their part. It would be awful come Christmas day if somebody didn't get a present, or even worse, that no one got anyone anything. That wasn't going to happen, though, she resolved. Even if she had to shoulder the burden of buying presents for everyone, she was going to make sure they had a good Christmas this year. Bolstered by that thought, she turned to her next challenge. She was going to have a hard time finding something for Jayne, especially since he probably wasn't going to offer a whole lot of suggestions. That just meant she had to think of something extra special, something that would make him forget all about being grumpy when he opened it. It was a tall order, but ideas were already whirling in her head. Cutting across the now empty dining area, she made for her bunk, the excitement swelling in her once more. It was time to get to work.


	2. Kaylee

The chill on the Eavesdown Docks lent the air a different smell, heavier and more earthy than what Kaylee was used to. It was a cold day by Persephone's standards, but that only made it feel more like Christmas. Unfortunately, despite the holiday-like weather, she was having no luck coming up with a gift for Jayne. He was a man of simple tastes, she knew. Liquor, women, and weapons were his pleasures. But, it occurred to her, that was about all she knew about him. It was surprising to realize that, after being on the ship with him for as long she had, Jayne was still mostly a mystery. She turned to Book to help her solve it since the preacher was as close to him as anyone, but the Shepherd couldn't offer her any better suggestions that what she had come up with on her own. She could have asked Jayne directly, too, but he still was not in the most forthcoming of moods. There was little doubt he would appreciate a good bottle of whiskey, but that was too obvious and did not really seem in the spirit of the season. She really wanted to think of something special and unique he would not expect. So, tired of mulling it over in her bunk she had donned her coat and headed into the Docks, hoping for some outside inspiration.

After a good two hours of shopping, though, the right present still eluded her. Frowning, she kicked along the dusty alleyways, scanning the shop fronts and signs but with dwindling hope. Oddly, it wasn't the sight but the sound of one in particular that finally caught her attention. Heartened slightly by the music seeping through a half-open doorway, Kaylee crossed the alley and pressed her face against a small, dusty window. When she saw what was inside, the inspiration she had been searching for erupted into full bloom. It was such a shiny idea, she did not know why it hadn't occurred to her before. Tickled at her good fortune, she hurried inside.

The atmosphere in the shop was laden with fresh cut wood and sawdust. The music that had attracted her emanated from a bald-pated man on a stool bent over one of his instruments. He stopped playing and he looked up when he heard her come in.

"_Gui gan_, _xiao jie_?"

"How much are those?" Kaylee asked, spying what she was looking for right away and pointing to it behind the counter.

"Three platinum." Those two words were all it took to wipe out her burst of enthusiasm. She already knew it was useless, but she scrounged in her pocket anyway and pulled out her money. It stared forlornly back from her palm. One platinum and a few bits of scrip. Not nearly enough.

"Oh. Well, thanks anyway," she told the shopkeeper, unable to mask her disappointment. She shoved her pittance back into her pocket and trudged out into the chill again with a long face. The gift exchange was her idea, and here she was, unable to buy something even halfway decent for Jayne. Maybe it hadn't been such a good notion after all. She wandered back to _Serenity_, tired and defeated.

Back in her bunk, she left her coat where it fell on the floor and dropped onto her bed, chin in hand. She tried hard to brainstorm something else for Jayne, but nothing seemed to compare to what she had seen in that shop. _If I only had just a little more_, she pined, but there was no point in wishing for what she couldn't get. Her gaze wandered around her room, searching for another source of inspiration, but all she found was her frilly pink dress hanging uselessly on the wall. Feeling bereft of Christmas cheer now, she started wondering why she still kept it around. It wasn't like she would ever have the chance to wear it again, and it didn't deserve to be kept stowed away in her bunk. It made more sense to give it to someone who could wear it and appreciate it once in a while. At the very least she might be able to get a little money… _ Wait a minute!_ her spirits leaped at the sudden epiphany. _I could sell the dress!_ Inspecting it with renewed hope, she didn't know what Badger had been conned into paying for it, but it had to be worth a few platinum. That would be more than enough to get what she wanted for Jayne. She jumped up and pulled it from its hook. But as her fingers felt the lace and satin trim her resolve wavered. It was such a lovely thing, and she had spent many a night imagining all the wonderful occasions where she might wear it again, most of which involved Simon in some way. But those were just fantasies. She drew her thoughts down out of them. Realistically, when did she ever expect to need it? And right now, Jayne could certainly use it more than she could. Pushing the regret away, she bundled up the dress in her arms and snatched her coat from the floor. Practically running downstairs to the cargo hold, she almost bowled Zoe over coming up.

"Easy there, Kaylee. Where you rushin' off to?" Zoe asked her.

"Oh! Sorry, Zo. I found this really great present for Jayne that I gotta go get."

"So what're you doin' with that?" Zoe eyed her dress.

"I don't have enough…" Kaylee bit her lip, "so I was gonna sell it."

"Kaylee, you sure about that?" Zoe raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I mean, I thought you loved that thing?" Kaylee looked down at it, fighting to sentimental tug in her chest.

"I do. But I really wanna get somethin' nice for Jayne, you know. And it ain't likely I'm gonna need it anytime soon."

"Well, if that's what you want to do, it ain't my place to stop you," Zoe shrugged, thankfully not making any more effort to change her mind.

"Yeah, it's what I want," Kaylee answered, mustering her strength to keep the slight forlorn note out of her voice. "Just don't tell Jayne, okay?"

"Promise," Zoe smiled.

"Thanks!" she called over her shoulder as she ran across the bay and out the doors. Winding through the docks again, she rushed into the first consignment shop she could find. "How much?" she demanded, throwing the dress on the counter in front of the matron minding the store.

"Hmm…" the woman mused. She unfolded it and examined it at full length. "Condition is decent. Hasn't seen much wear, I take it," she appraised. "But it's out of style now. Won't be easy to sell." She bobbed her head in consideration. "I can give you two platinum for it."

"Deal," Kaylee agreed without hesitation. The woman pulled the coins from her register and Kaylee fled out the door as soon as they were in her hand. She immediately went back to the music shop and slapped three coins down on the counter, grinning. As she walked out with her purchase, her dress was long forgotten and she could only imagine how surprised Jayne was going to be.

1 _Gui gun, xiao jie_- "May I help you, miss?"


	3. Jayne

Jayne strolled through Eavesdown's sizeable red-light district, hat on his head and a blunted cigar clenched between his teeth. He sucked on the cigar, relishing its taste. At the same time he fingered the money in his pocket. The stogie was his last and he would rather be picking up a few more, except that he had to find a _gorram_ present for Inara. He had nothing against Kaylee's notion of trying to spread a little Christmas joy, but neither did he care to be a part of it. However, just before they touched down on Persephone the captain had cornered him and made it clear in no uncertain terms what his choices were- do the gift exchange, or forfeit his share of the next job. Jayne scowled, silently swearing at Mal for forcing him into this. How the hell was he supposed to know what to buy for Inara? The only things he had ever gotten women were drunk and into bed, and there was fat chance of either of those things happening with Inara. Catching the eyes of a few of the local wares on display, he figured Inara's rates were probably ten times what any of the women in these alleys charged. Maybe even a hundred. _Probably worth it, too_, he considered. And she always seemed to look so damned elegant without even trying! Sure she held herself in high regard most of the time, but that weren't always the case. Unlike the Doc, who always seemed to remind him that he was better with his Core-bred ways, Inara could come down off her high horse and act like a regular person once in a while. He realized he actually respected her for that, and when he thought about it, he guessed that was what was bothering him the most. If he was going to do it, he really wanted to get her something nice, something better than what he might treat the usual kind of woman he took to. He just had no clue what that might be.

He spotted the sign for a pawnbroker's shop down the alley and decided to take a gander at the merchandise, if at least to take his mind off the temptation of the most recent set of curves his eyes had wandered across. He strode in the hovel of a store, scanning the walls and shelves filled with battered musical instruments, useless electronic gadgets, and plenty of weaponry. Catching sight of the guitars, he remembered he hadn't touched his in months. Two of the strings were broken, and _Serenity_ hadn't been anyplace recently where he could buy replacements until now. His scowl deepened. Yet another thing he could be using his cash for if it weren't for ruttin' Christmas. One more brief glance around told him he was wasting his time here. He made a turn to leave, but as he did he spied something that caught his attention. It was a jewelry case tucked into a corner, and the sight of it lit up his mind with the spark of an idea. Women got all mushy over jewelry, and from the amount he'd seen her wear from time to time, Inara would probably be no exception. He simply had to pick something out, and done. Sauntering over to the glass display, his eyes roved over the rings, necklaces, and bracelets inside. The selection was pretty meager, but even then he quickly realized it wasn't going to be as easy as he thought. He didn't have an inkling as to what Inara would wear. Might be he'd get her something she didn't like. Maybe he didn't know much about women, but he knew _that_ was a not a good thing. _Gorram it!_ he grumbled internally. He had just about given up on when he spotted something else in the case. _Eureka! That's it!_ He popped the cigar out of his mouth.

"How much for that one?" he jabbed his finger on the glass. The lazy pawnbroker barely glanced up from his ledger to see what Jayne was pointing at.

"Five," he said.

"My cherry-covered ass it's five! Who're you tryin' to _kao hai_ with that price?" Jayne retorted. The pawnbroker just shrugged and returned to his accounting, not even bothering to debate the point. Growling, Jayne bit on the end of his cigar. So much for that. Of course, he should have expected as much. What in God's balls was he doing anyway, thinking he could find something for Inara? He was a ruttin' idiot. He ought to just spend his money on himself like he wanted, to hell with Mal and his threats. He stomped towards the door feeling rather unexpectedly low. On the way out, his arm brushed one of the guitars on the wall, almost dislodging it.

"You break it you bought it, pal," the pawnbroker warned, though he didn't even make the effort to look up this time.

"No thanks," Jayne snapped. "I already got one." And then the thought struck him. He turned back to the pawnbroker. "Will you take a trade?"

"Huh?"

"A trade. For that piece there I was lookin' at," Jayne came back towards the counter.

"Depends on what it is," the man answered, his slack face finally showing a hint of intrigue.

"Fine. I'll be right back. Don't go nowhere." The broker just snuffed as Jayne dashed out.

Breathless after his jog back to _Serenity_, Jayne hurried into his bunk. His guitar was leaning against the wall right where it always was. He grabbed it and turned it over in his hands appraisingly. Besides the missing strings, it was a little battered, but no worse than any of those other crap ones he'd seen in the pawnshop. It ought to fetch him a few coins. All he needed was three and that would be enough. As he looked at the instrument, though, he started to have second thoughts. Other than his knife and his first pistol, it was the only piece of property he had brought with him from home when he left for a life in the black. That was decades ago now, and he hadn't been back since. The vision of a skinny little youngster sitting near a fire on a summer night with the guitar on his lap arose in his mind. He had plucked away with hesitation, trying to figure out a tune, wincing because the calluses hadn't yet developed on his fingers. The guitar's body seemed too big for him back then. Now, it was small and fragile in his large hands. _Aw, hell, it's just a guitar_, he shut off the reminiscent scene. He could always save up a little after the next job and buy another one. Maybe he could even buy his back. It was certainly better than losing a month's pay if he couldn't find anything else. That tipped his decision and he slung the instrument over his shoulder with resolve. Climbing out of his bunk, he set out for the pawn shop again.

Not long afterwards, Jayne walked out of the shop, this time with a bag in his arms and a grin on his face. He'd had to haggle with the pawnbroker to get the three platinum he had hoped for, and he might have been able to get a little more out of the _hun dan_ if he'd kept his mouth shut and not let on what he was interested in. But that was neither here nor there now. He'd settled for three and bought the gift for Inara.

"Jayne," a familiar voice called him as he stepped into the alley. He looked around and spotted Zoe strolling towards him. "What d'you got there?" she asked, peering at the bag.

"Present for Inara," he beamed.

"Mind if I take a peek?" Jayne held it out for her. Zoe's eyes widened when she saw inside.

"Jayne…"

"What?" he suddenly got worried at her tone. "You don't think she'll like it?"

"No," Zoe shook her head. "I think she'll love it." He grinned wider now. "Where did you find it?" she asked. Jayne jerked his thumb at the shop behind him.

"Well, good work. See, ain't no harm in a little generosity, is there?" she smiled at him.

"Well, maybe not. But it did cost me my six string," he said with a pang of regret.

"What?" Zoe's smile turned to shock.

"I pawned it off to pay for this," he explained. Zoe frowned in silence and Jayne wished he hadn't said anything. "Look don't tell anyone, okay," he lowered his voice. "'Specially not Inara. Don't want her to think I went through too much trouble to get her this."

"Well, I'm impressed, Jayne," Zoe offered some sincere respect. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"I'm just full o' surprises," Jayne felt a flush of color coming on and shifted subjects quickly. "Say, you found anything for Kaylee yet?"

"Oh, I think I've got her all taken care of," Zoe gave him a cryptic smile. "I'll see you back on the ship," she bade him off and continued down the street, leaving him glowing with pride. If Zoe thought he'd done right, then he'd done right. Unable to resist, he glanced into the bag one more time. Inara was sure going to be surprised. Now he found himself almost anxious for the two days until Christmas to pass, just so he could see her reaction. Maybe there was something to this gift exchanging after all.

1 _kao hai_- entrap, cheat


	4. Inara

Inara picked up the cup of tea from her service and curled her legs beneath her on the couch. The steam from the drink curled over her lips as she absently sipped from it, her mind occupied with what was turning out to be a much more problematic task than she had predicted- the gift exchange. Normally she would have declined to participate, because, for one, she did not celebrate Christmas. She also needed to maintain some separation between herself and the crew, for professional reasons. But when Kaylee had come asking and explained that Mal had made the whole thing contingent on her agreement, she simply had to say yes this time. She knew Mal was counting on her to turn Kaylee down so he wouldn't have to directly, and she could not resist the chance to subtly undermine his authority by doing just the opposite. Now that she had committed, though, she was reconsidering how wise her choice had been. It was too late to go back, however. She had to come up with a present for Simon.

The proposition seemed straightforward enough on the surface, but when she set to take it on, she was dismayed at how few options came to mind. The most logical thing she could think of was something for the infirmary, but that was hardly appropriate. Giving Simon medical supplies would be equivalent to her getting a negligee as a gift. On the other hand, she thought wryly, considering it was Jayne who was buying her present, she would not be surprised if that was what she ended up with. She shook that moderately disturbing impression from her thoughts and refocused on Simon. She was embarrassed to admit that she knew virtually nothing about the doctor personally. She was going to need some assistance if she was to find right gift. Knowing whose assistance she needed did not do much to bolster her confidence, but there were few other avenues to pursue. Replacing her half-finished tea on the serving tray, she swept out of her shuttle and headed downstairs to seek advice from the one person who knew Simon better than anyone else on the ship.

"River?" she knocked on the girl's open door as she approached. River was inside, lying on her bed, calmly drawing. "May I come in?" Inara asked. The girl did not acknowledge her. Inara waited patiently for a response, but she might as well have been non-existent. It was possible that River really did not realize she was there, but just as likely that she was being ignored. That was one of the more upsetting things about her. Despite Inara's considerable skill at reading people, River was often mystifying. She cleared her throat to announce her presence more clearly, but still got no reaction. Perhaps it was not such a good idea coming to her after all, she started to wonder.

"Simon's present," River suddenly spoke, though her head remained down, attention still on her drawing. That was another of River's unsettling characteristics. Although she did not always seem to comprehend them, her knack for discerning others' intentions went beyond even the talents of the best trained Companions. It left Inara not a little bit uncomfortable. But then again, she figured it was fairly obvious why she was here. What other reason would she have?

"Yes," she confirmed. "I'm afraid I'm at a loss and could use some help. Could you think of anything that he might like?" River kept drawing, not offering any suggestions. Inara waited a few more moments, feeling the silence draw out awkwardly again. Sighing at River's frustrating behavior, she finally gave up and turned to leave when the girl spoke again.

"He likes to read."

"What's that?" Inara looked back.

"Simon likes to read," River repeated.

"Oh. Okay. Anything in particular?" Inara pressed for more, but River was silent again. This time she did not seem inclined to say any more.

"Well, thank you," Inara said, deciding she had gotten the most she was going to get. She left River to her art and returned to her shuttle. So, Simon liked to read. It wasn't much, but did give her some direction, and she knew of a place that might have something to satisfy his literary desires. It would be expensive, but the more she entertained the idea, the more she felt it would make the perfect present. Armed with new conviction, she hurried into the shuttle's cockpit and prepared to take off.

* * *

Only the very slightest hint of musty age tickled Inara's nose when she stepped into the antique dealer's store, bedecked in some of her finest attire. She had coiffed her hair with a gilt scarf and thrown her most elegant wrap over her fine silk dress. Tortoiseshell earrings dangled from her ears and an array of diamonds shimmered on the necklace around her throat. The finery was superbly ostentatious for a simple shopping spree, but she was in a section of the city where if she did not convey the appropriate sense of wealth, proprietors would not even let her in the door. Fortunately, making an impression on others was her forte, and the clerk on duty in the store noticed her entrance immediately. She flitted to Inara's side with a gracious bow.

_"Gui gan, nv shi?"_

"I'm looking for books," Inara explained. "Do you have any?"

_"Li suo dang ran,"_ the clerk grinned widely. "We have a fine selection. May I show you?" She held out her had courteously and Inara took it. The clerk walked her through the store into a small room near the back. Inside, its walls were lined with shelves of tomes protected behind hermetically sealed glass. "We have seven hundred rare and authentic books in this room," the clerk proclaimed. "Is there one I can perhaps locate for you? I can recite every title if you..."

"I should like to browse for myself, thank you," Inara cut her off, but not rudely. "I will fetch you if I need anything."

"Certainly. Don't hesitate to call," the woman bowed again with a broad smile and backed out of the room. Alone now, Inara started carefully scanning the shelves. She did not have any notion of what Simon might like, but perhaps that did not matter so much. Real books were a rare luxury. Electronic text had made them obsolete long ago, and the scant few surviving volumes had disappeared into government archives, museums, or the collections of private citizens. Her limited knowledge of Simon's background led her to surmise his family was probably fortunate enough to have acquired a few. Therefore she thought that giving him one might make his forced exile on _Serenity_ a bit more familiar.

Aside from which to choose, though, she discovered the more pressing issue was definitely going to be cost. Regardless of her status and ability to look the part, her income did not exactly merit the level of extravagance she was seeing on the price tags. Even with a regular schedule of clients as she had been used to on Sihnon, purchasing one would still have been a far stretch for her means back then. As it was now, she was actually quite close to being broke. Since she had come on board _Serenity_, she had paid more to Mal in rent than she had earned. The lack of income combined with her fees to the Guild, fuel for the shuttle, and the occasional sundry contributions to the ship for supplies and food, her savings had diminished to practically zero. She knew her rent covered nearly half of Mal's monthly expenses, and almost all of it if he hadn't had a job in a while. So if he did not find paying work and she did not take some more clients, they were all going to be in a predicament.

With her financial difficulties at the forefront of her thoughts, she was coming to realize that this was a fruitless effort. She would never be able to afford a book for Simon. Her one good idea stymied, she turned away from the precious volumes in abrupt frustration and left the room.

"Did you not find anything satisfactory?" asked the solicitous clerk as she strode past.

"No, thank you," Inara dismissed the inquiry without stopping, in a hurry to get out of the store. Her hand was on the door when the sign on a nearby table grabbed her attention. She stepped back from the exit and moved closer to inspect the items on display there, a fresh idea brewing. "Will these work in any standard device?" she asked the clerk.

"I believe so. But I don't think you would be interested in those. They are all so common. I'm not sure why we even sell them," the woman explained as if they were worthless trinkets hardly deserving mention.

"How much are they?" Inara demanded.

"Ten credits," she received an oddly curious look from the clerk in response. She tried not to bite her lip as she did the mental arithmetic. By the end of the month, the cost of refueling the shuttle plus another rental payment to Mal did not even leave her with that much remaining.

"Would you accept five?" she attempted a last-ditch effort to haggle, even though she knew the half-price offer was outrageous. The clerk's face stiffened and her smile gradually vanished as she started to realize what class of customer she was really dealing with.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, taking a prim step back. "Those prices are firm."

"Very well," Inara said with a sigh. "Thank you." The woman did not even deign to give her a nod as she retreated out the door.

* * *

After returning to _Serenity_ and docking her shuttle, Inara stormed out of the cockpit and dropped onto the stool before her small vanity. Her failure put her in a sour mood, and she wished now that she had not given in so easily to Kaylee's pleadings. She stared at herself in the mirror, disliking the flustered set of her lips. The glittering adornments she wore seemed only to accentuate the unflattering look. It made her feel like more of an imposter than the clerk had. She tossed her wrap on the floor and angrily undid the scarf over her hair. Then she jerked the clasp of her necklace free, letting it fall on the table, and yanked her earrings out. The pieces clanked as she tossed them into the small box where they were kept. She knew she should keep trying to conjure another present idea for Simon but she was no longer in the mood. She debated going to see River again, but decided Simon's sister would probably be just as enigmatic as before and leave her even more irritated. She cast her eyes down in disappointment, staring at her necklace and the mish-mash of assorted jewelry in the box next to it. It distracted her for a moment from her frustration, reminding her that she really needed to do some organizing. There were plenty of pieces in there that she had only worn once, and some she hadn't worn at all. Clients frequently brought her jewelry in attempts to impress or win her heart. In truth, she only wore a few selected pieces regularly. The rest she could stand to be rid of.

And in that thought, the solution to her dilemma suddenly struck her with blinding clarity. That was what she could do! She could sell some of her jewelry. She dumped the box out on and sorted rapidly through the little objects. They were all reasonably decent pieces, though none of them were particularly valuable, except for the necklace. That one had a value beyond credits. She paused over it, a face drifting fondly through her memory while her fingers tracing the large double-chain of diamonds linked by gold and silver. He had been one of her earliest clients, and the necklace was a gift from him on their last meeting after he learned she would be leaving Sihnon. As far as she had known, he had favored her exclusively since she was a novice first allowed to take clients. He was always kind from the beginning, guiding her, helping her learn what it meant to be a Companion in ways even the instructors in the Training House could not teach. She grew so much in experience from him that she wondered how much credit he deserved for her eventually becoming one of the most sought-after Companions in the House. And even after that, she never enjoyed her time so much nor felt so fulfilled as when she was with him. A pang of sorrow throbbed in her chest and she realized that she truly missed him. Then she shook her head to dislodge the memory, chastising herself for her lack of discipline. Sentimentality was not the province of a Companion. She was not allowed to get attached. And the necklace was just another superfluous decoration like all the others. In all honesty, she knew her clients cared nothing for how well her earrings matched her dress, or whether she was wearing any at all. But the money they could bring her was not so frivolous. With it, she could buy something nice for Simon, who, she reminded herself, had lost practically everything to save River. His sacrifice was worth far more than a simple necklace.

Resolved, she scraped the pile back into the box, grabbed for her wrap, and rushed from her shuttle. Preoccupied by the hope that she might actually be able to get Simon a worthwhile gift, she failed to notice Shepherd Book, his nose in his Bible, stepping into her path. The box of jewelry tumbled from her arms and spilled open as they collided.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Shepherd," she apologized quickly.

"No, it's my fault," Book blamed himself. "I should be watching where I'm going instead of reading. Here, let me help you." He stooped quickly to help her pick up the pieces which had not fallen through the grating, but then paused and eyed them curiously. "If I may ask, what were you doing with all this?"

"I found something for the Doctor, but I need just a little bit more money to pay for it," she confessed. "These are some spare pieces that I don't intend to wear again. I thought this would put them to better use."

"Ah, I see," he said, picking up the elegant necklace and looking it over. Inara felt her cheeks color a little and she took the necklace from his hands and closed up the box. "Well, that's extremely selfless of you," Book said with a hint of admiration. "I'm sure the boy will appreciate whatever it is you're getting him."

"Yes, I hope so. But, please don't tell him."

"Not a word," Book smiled.

"Thank you, Shepherd," she said with real gratitude. Then she hurried down the stairs, gathering up the last of the fallen pieces from the floor below, and disappeared out the door.

Finding a pawn shop in Eavesdown that seemed modestly reputable took a little bit of time, but eventually Inara settled on one and took her jewelry inside. She tried not to stew impatiently while the broker scrutinized every piece she laid before him. Currently, he was examining her necklace, and she made a concerted effort not to look at it. Finally he rose and removed his jeweler's glass.

"Well, these are all nice pieces, but not worth a whole lot in my estimation. This necklace, here, though, is quite unique. Where did you get it from?"

"Oh, I've had it for a long time. I can't even remember where I got it," she lied pleasantly. "It just doesn't go with my ensemble anymore."

"Hmm…" the broker punched up some figures on his computer screen. "I can offer you one platinum for all that stuff," he pointed to the assorted pile, "and four for the necklace itself."

"Five platinum? That seems reasonable," Inara agreed, hiding her delight.

"Very well," the broker smiled. He went into his back room and returned shortly with a pouch of coins. He counted out five and placed them on the counter.

"There you are ma'am."

"Thank you," Inara smiled, trying not to snatch the coins too hastily.

"Pleasure doing business with you," the broker called to her back as she darted out the door.

* * *

Returning to _Serenity_ from her second trip to the antique store, Inara continually glanced with satisfaction at the tiny parcel resting on the copilot's chair. Far from the gracious welcome she had received earlier, the clerk almost refused to let her in this time. She had to produce her money to gain entrance, and even then the woman only grudgingly acquiesced. Inara did not waste any time making her purchase, and after she had paid, the clerk handed it to her with an air almost of disgust. It was of little consequence, though. She was just glad she had managed to acquire enough funds to buy it. She still had a little lingering regret for selling off all her jewelry, but that was more than overcome by her desire to see the surprise on Simon's face when he opened it his gift. Despite Christmas not being a part of her beliefs, she understood full well the importance of bringing happiness into the lives of others, and that was worth more than anything in the Verse.

1 _Gui gan, nv shi?_ - "May I help you, Madame?"

2 _Li suo dang ran_ - of course, certainly


	5. Simon

_What in the Verse am I going to do?_ Simon wondered while he paced the floor of the infirmary. He had spent nearly an hour compulsively organizing and reorganizing the place while he wrestled with what was one of the more daunting endeavors he had ever had to face in his life. When his turn had come to draw a name, he had hoped to pull River's, or perhaps Kaylee's. Even if he had chosen Jayne he could have at least easily found some cheap whiskey that the mercenary would have been more than satisfied with. Instead, he had to pick the most complex and confusing person on the ship. Stopping his pacing momentarily, his shoulders slumped. This was going to be impossible on his own. He needed help desperately. There was one person he thought he could turn to, and as embarrassed as he was to ask, he would be even more embarrassed if he made the mistake of getting the captain the wrong thing. He headed out of the infirmary and up the stairs in search of what he hoped would be his salvation.

Pausing in the foredeck hall, he raised his fist and hesitantly knocked on the open hatch.

"Yeah?" Zoe answered from below.

"It's Simon," he called.

"What can I do for you, Doctor?" Zoe appeared below the ladder, looking up.

"Can I, uh… can I come in?"

"Sure," she invited him with just the briefest of hesitation. Fighting his embarrassment, Simon scuttled down the ladder. He remained standing beneath the hatch, shifting uncomfortably. "What's on your mind?" Zoe asked, taking no notice of his discomfort as she straightened the sheets on her bed.

"Well, I wanted to ask you… you know… about the gift exchange."

"Ah," the woman nodded knowingly. "You're needin' some help with ideas for the captain."

"Yes," Simon nodded with a deep breath. "You could say that." Zoe treated him to a rare, warm smile.

"I admit I don't envy you, Doc. Captain's a hard man to suss out." Her words did not exactly lift Simon's spirits.

"But you know him better than anyone. You were in the war together," he said.

"Yes, I conjure that's true," Zoe agreed.

"I just don't want to get him the wrong thing. I gather he's not that fond of this whole gift exchange in the first place, but that's why I wanted to get him something nice. Something meaningful." Zoe nodded, folding her arms and creasing her brow in thought. He saw something light up her features, but then the expression was quickly gone as if she had dismissed whatever she had just come up with. "What? What is it?" he asked, anxious to hear any suggestion at all.

"No, never mind," Zoe evaded and returned to her sheets, her back to him now.

"Please. Anything is better than what I've got… which is nothing, really." She stopped fussing with the covers and stood up slowly, heaving a sigh. When she faced him again, Simon saw there was shadow in her eyes.

"I thought of one thing that the captain might really appreciate, but I don't know if it's such a good idea."

"Why? What is it?"

"Well," Zoe went on reluctantly, "at the end of the war, the captain was awarded a medal. A commendation of valor for what he did in the Valley. The Alliance allowed at least that much, that our men got recognized for their bravery," her voice became distant and darker. "It wasn't a consolation, but it was somethin'. He won't ever say it, but I think he really values that medal. It reminds him that he did some good, that he didn't quite lose everything." Simon listened intently, his embarrassment forgotten. "I don't know where he keeps it, but I know he's still got it somewhere, tucked away. Might be nice if he had some place to put it, so it could remind him more often. Don't know if that helps you out or not," Zoe turned her back again, clearly trying to escape the heaviness of the moment. It gave Simon time to ruminate on her story.

"Yes. Yes, I think that does help. Thank you," he said with real gratefulness. Zoe nodded over her shoulder with a small smile.

"Hey, Doc. There you are. What're you doin' down here?" Wash called from above.

"Uh, I was just asking Zoe about what to get the captain for the gift exchange."

"Shiny. That's exactly what I need to talk to you about," Wash clambered down the ladder.

After a brief discussion with Wash about what to get his sister, Simon made arrangements for the pilot to also pick up the gift he had decided on for Mal since he could not risk going out in public himself. The only unresolved issue was money. He had spent the last little bit he had on a birthday present for River at their last stop. Zoe and Wash offered to cover the cost for him, but Simon refused. He did not want to accept charity. If he could not come up with a gift by himself, or even leave the ship to purchase it, he would at least pay for it with his own means. The problem was coming up with those means. After some more pacing in the infirmary, a solution finally landed on him. He went into his room and dug out his Encyclopedia. Besides his medkit, it was probably the only thing of any significant value he owned now. Everything else had been lost. He turned it over in his hands. It had come in handy every now and then. But more than that, it was a small reminder of the life he had left behind. There was some comfort in that. _But I can't go back. Not for a while, and maybe not ever_, he thought heavily. Then he recalled Zoe's story. What was his loss compared to Mal's? And after everything the captain had done to look after him and his sister, didn't Mal deserve the best he could give? He knew the answer to those questions without having to think about them.

"Here," he handed the Encyclopedia to Wash as the pilot was about to depart for his own Christmas shopping. "Get what you can for it and use it to pay for the captain's present."

"You sure about this, Doc?" Wash questioned, doubt all over his face.

"Absolutely," Simon returned with certainty. He was going to make this Christmas special for Mal, no matter what it took.


	6. Mal

**A/N: This was by far the hardest chapter to write, given what Mal has to give up. Creating a plausible chain of reasoning for him to accept his choice was very difficult. I still feel it is a little contrived, but...**

* * *

Mal wrapped his overcoat more tightly around him against the nippy breeze blowing across the Docks. The weather was not doing anything to improve his mood. He would much rather have been relaxing in the nearest bar with a few good drinks under his belt. Instead, he was out in the cold doing Christmas shopping. _How did I let myself get talked into this_? he wondered. Then he remembered. It was all Inara's fault. He was more than certain she decided to take part in the gift exchange simply to annoy him. And once she did, he knew couldn't go back on his word. After all, Kaylee kept his boat flying. And if she wasn't happy, _Serenity_ wasn't happy. He sighed. He loved Kaylee like a little sister, but her attempts to make the crew into one big, happy family could be as infuriating as the Shepherd's moral superiority complex. They were not one big, happy family. They were one big, dysfunctional family, and that was just fine with him.

There was no use hassling over what was already decided, so he turned his thoughts to Wash. What could he possibly buy for his pilot? Mal didn't even know where to begin. All of the usual items that sprung to mind were already out. Wash wasn't much of a drinker so he wouldn't appreciate a good bottle of whiskey like Jayne would. Neither was he all that into firearms. There were those stupid dinosaurs he insisted on keeping on the bridge console, but getting him another one didn't seem like much of a Christmas present. Some sort of gag gift might give him a kick, but there was a fine line with that sort of thing, and crossing it might ruin Wash's holiday rather than making him laugh. That would be bad. Then he would be in trouble with Zoe, which would be even worse. Stuck with a dearth of any other good ideas, he considered that part of the problem was he really never had taken much interest in Wash outside of his capacity as the best _gorram_ pilot in the Verse. Maybe he should have, he thought with a trace of guilt. It would definitely have made things a whole lot easier when it came to today.

Fighting the urge to throw up his hands and head to the bar, he pushed into the first storefront he came across. It was some second-hand shop filled with useless trinkets, ancient garments, and other cast-offs from the Verse at large. Mal gave the shirt racks a half-hearted once-over, but they were a sorry collection of rags. In fact, he thought with irony, the only thing he'd seen worse than them was Wash's wardrobe. The man had horrible taste in shirts. He had to have at least a dozen different gaudy-looking ones, and he always seemed to pick up another one every chance he had. He probably single-handedly kept the gaudy shirt-makers in business. Buying him something from here might actually be an improvement. The sprig of an idea started to bloom in Mal's mind, but it quickly died when he remembered he did not know Wash's size. Moving on, he took only the briefest look around the rest of the store, but that was enough to inform him there was nothing else here that would make a good gift. He was making a U-turn for the door when his gaze swept over something he had missed. He stopped to take a closer look and the gears started whirring in his mind. _That just might do,_ he thought an amused grin. _How 'bout that?_ It was in acceptable condition and not too big, and it would definitely make Zoe happy as well, after the regular arguments he'd heard between her and her husband. Maybe this gift exchange thing wasn't going be such a big deal after all. Then he saw the price. "_Gorram_ it," he muttered. Five platinum for a piece of used junk like that? It was _qiang jie_! But what the hell else was he going to find? He did not want to spend all day looking, but he only had three platinum to go on. Grousing about his luck, he gave it up and stomped out of the store.

Although the bar was an even more tempting option now, Mal settled for returning to the ship and brewing himself a warm cup of tea to ward off the chill from his unsuccessful expedition. Nursing his drink at the dining table, he tried to rustle up some other ideas for Wash but his mind was stubbornly uncooperative. Instead, all of this holiday dealing seemed to have instigated some nostalgic circuit in his brain and he found himself unwittingly revisiting some long unearthed memories of Christmas. He remembered how it used to be full of light and laughter back then. He couldn't wait to open the one or two presents he received on Christmas morning. His Ma never had a lot to spend on him, but she always gave him something, and he never failed to find some joy in it, no matter how simple it was. Even after he grew up and was old enough to be out wrangling cattle with the other hands, Christmas was still a special time for him. Then the war came, and he remembered the day when things started to change. He remembered when her first heard the news on the front lines that Shadow had been not just devastated, but destroyed. He remembered that he didn't believe it, at least not until he saw the newsfeeds later. Watching the footage reel by, his heart reeled as well. He realized then that everything he had was gone. There was no home, no ranch, no cattle, no nothing anymore. There was nothing to go back to. The Alliance had wiped it all out. He tried to cling to whatever he could after that- his men, their cause, or just the plain old, hard-headed refusal to roll over and die. He also clung to those Christmas memories. Down in the trenches, they reminded him to find pleasure in the small things.

The last time he ever celebrated Christmas was on Hera, near the end of the war. He and his platoon had just been stationed in Serenity Valley as part of the Independents' last desperate effort to stall the Alliance's progress. He made the best of it, but there wasn't much joy at that time. Throughout the war he had prayed for victory for Christmas, but as things turned worse for the Browncoats, he simply started asking that God somehow pull him and his men through. By then everyone knew the war was drawing to a close and that the final battle was near. But none of them knew they would be there to see it. And a few months later, when Hell was unleashed in Serenity Valley, he was sure it was going to be the end. Except that he didn't die. Instead, he survived to watch as hundreds and thousands of men and women were slaughtered around him. And where was God then, he wondered? Had He given up on him? Or maybe He had heard his Christmas wish and just had a damn sick sense of humor. More likely, though, Mal figured He just wasn't there.

After those first few days, when he found himself the only officer in charge of some two thousand odd soldiers, he was no longer fighting for the Independents' cause anymore, or even in remembrance of the destruction of Shadow. He was fighting for those two thousand men and women following him. For weeks they fought, even after the official cease-fire. Wallowing in the blood and death they fought hunger, they fought disease, they fought the Alliance, and they fought themselves. But he couldn't let them give up. Because, if he did, what would have happened to them? Not until the peace treaty was signed and the medical ships came down did they finally lay down arms. They gave him a medal for that afterward, though he could hardly conjure why. He hadn't changed the tide of the battle or anything of that nature, and in the end he was still on the losing side. But sometimes, on those particularly bad days when he had a hard time remembering what it was all for, he brought it out. The faces of those soldiers seemed to stare back from its reflection. He hadn't been able to save them all. Hell, out of his original platoon only he and Zoe made it out. But for the rest of them that did, he hoped that if he hadn't done another thing right in his life before or since, he had at least done right by them.

As time wore on, though, he found he needed to look at the thing less and less often. In the meantime, it had sat locked up and virtually forgotten. Not that he would ever truly forget, though. Nothing could erase what happened in that valley, but he had learned since then that how he chose to live with it was the important thing, far more so than some little button of gold. His cup paused on its way to his lips. _Hmm… gold_. The germ of an idea started to take root in his brain. That could bring in some extra coin. Enough to get Wash what he'd seen, he reckoned. _Wait, what the hell am I thinkin'?_ the voice in his head brought that train of thought to a halt. _You can't just sell it. That would be betraying them_.

_Would it, though?_ another side of him interjected. It was just a symbol, after all. Things had gone the way they'd gone, and nothing was going to change that now. Considering it had been well on two years since he had last taken it out, what did that mean? Perhaps it was time to let it go, or maybe even put it to better use. Here was his chance to do some good again, however small, and prove that he really did deserve the honor of it. If instead he clung to it out of a selfish desire to keep the past alive, didn't that defeat the purpose of it in the first place? Using for Wash would be a fitting fate. The conviction of his own argument surprised him a little and started to overpower his doubts. Maybe it really was time. He put down his mug and went to his bunk. Digging through his small filing cabinet, he pulled the golden object out of its hiding place and stared at it. The faces and names of those soldiers marched through his thoughts once again. _They're there. They always will be_, something inside reassured him. _This is the right thing to do._ It whittled the doubt away, and although a sliver of it still remained, it wasn't enough to change his mind. Christmas would never mean what it used to for him. But with a little luck and the right exchange rate, he might be able to brighten someone else's Christmas Day.

Tucking the medallion safely in his breast pocket, Mal pulled himself up the ladder of his bunk and headed briskly for the cargo bay, grabbing his coat from the dining table along the way. Coming down the catwalk, he stopped and peered around the hold, on the lookout for Wash.

"Somethin' the matter, sir," Zoe asked from below. She was bundled up like she had just come in from outside.

"Where's your husband at?"

"Out," she said.

"Shiny. Let's hope he don't come back anytime soon. I gotta sneak his present in here, but I need the mule," he explained, trotting down the stairs, punching the ramp controls as he passed.

"The mule?" Zoe threw a questing look his way.

"I found him somethin' that he really needs. And it'll make you happy, too." He told her is idea.

"You're right, that will make me happy. And it's perfect for him, too," she grinned.

"That's what I thought. Just need me a few more coins and I'll be set."

"So, how do you plan to get 'em?"

"With this," Mal dug into his pocket and flashed the medal at her while he climbed onto the mule.

"Sir," Zoe uttered quietly, her face as shocked as he'd ever seen it. "Are you sure about that?" Mal did not answer right away. He just sat there for a few seconds, staring straight ahead. His doubt started to grow again, but he shoved it back down.

"Zoe, I got a lot o' memories of that place," he finally spoke. "But one little bit o' gold ain't gonna change things one way or the other." He glanced solemnly at his first mate, his second in command, always. "Maybe I deserved a medal for what I did back then, and maybe I didn't. I can't say I'll ever know. But I do know that it won't mean a _gorram_ thing if I can't ever do somethin' like that again 'cause I'm afraid to lose it. Wash needs a Christmas present, and if that means I have to sell this thing to get it, then that's what I'm gonna do." With his mouth a determined line, Mal popped the mule into gear and roared down the ramp and out onto the Docks.

At the precious metal exchange, Mal got a very curious look from the clerk behind the cage as he examined the little piece of honor.

"Where'd you get this?"

"From an old soldier. Said it'd served its purpose and he didn't need it no more. Figured I could get a little out of it," Mal only half-lied. "So, you want it or not?"

"Yeah, I'll take it. I'll give you three platinum."

"Deal." Hustling back to the second-hand shop, Mal shelled out the five coins for the gift and struggled out the door with it. He hoped Wash hadn't returned in the interim as he hefted it onto the mule. He would have to hide it in his bunk, and that might take some creative maneuvering to get it down the hatch, but a lopsided grin appeared on his lips as he sped back towards _Serenity_. Wasn't Wash going to be surprised.

1 _qiang jie_- armed robbery


	7. Wash

Wash toyed with one of his dinosaurs while he reclined in the helm. He was procrastinating and he knew it, but at least he had a good reason this time. The gift exchange seemed innocuous enough when Kaylee first presented it, and it was pretty entertaining to watch everyone pulling a name and trying to figure out what they were going to buy. Then things took an ironic twist when he got River's name. Maybe it was karma, or dogma, or one of those mystical things. Regardless, what did he know about buying a gift for a teenage girl, let alone a crazy, genius teenage girl? Somehow he did not think she would appreciate any of the ideas he had in mind. Despite Kaylee's warning, he briefly considered asking Simon to secretly switch with him. The doctor would have no trouble buying for his own sister, and the opportunities for hilarious gag gifts he could get for Mal were endless. But if Kaylee found she out would be mad at him for going behind her back and breaking the rules. Then Zoe would be mad at him. If there was one thing in his book to avoid, it was making Zoe mad at him. He sighed, swinging his feet off the console. If he could not swap with Simon, he at least needed to pay him a visit and get some guidance.

Trotting down the stairs and into the foredeck hall, he halted just past his bunk, hearing Simon's voice coming from down the hatch. Taking a step back and peering in, he spotted the doctor at the foot of the ladder.

"Hey Doc. There you are. What're you doin' down there?" he called.

"Uh, I was just asking Zoe about what to get the captain for the gift exchange."

"Shiny. That's exactly what I need to talk to you about." Wash scrambled down the ladder. "Any suggestions you could give me would _really_ help out, because I'm, like, clueless," he emphasized to Simon.

"Okay," Simon considered. "Well, she's been drawing a lot recently. Some art supplies might be nice."

"Yeah, okay. That sounds good. I think I can do that. Art supplies. Like what?"

"Pencils, paper," Simon elaborated.

"Oh, right," Wash nodded seriously, realizing he should have known that.

"_Ahem_… by the way," the doctor cleared his throat nervously, "I wanted to ask you… um if either of you are going out anytime soon. If you are, would you be able to pick up the captain's present for me?" Simon asked. "I'd do it myself, but I'm not so sure it's safe…" he hurried to add apologetically.

"It's okay, Simon. We'll get it for you," Zoe assured.

"Sure, not a problem," agreed Wash.

"Great. Uh… I'll, uh… just get you some money." Simon moved awkwardly around him and started up the ladder. Zoe threw him a hard look.

_What?_ Wash mouthed, uncomprehending. She rolled her eyes, then rubbed her fingers together and pointed at Simon's back. "Oh…" he finally got it. "Hey, we can spot you, Doc," he called up the ladder.

"Yeah, won't be a problem," Zoe agreed. Simon was quiet for a moment, holding onto the ladder.

"Thanks, but I'll manage," he said and disappeared. Zoe frowned and Wash shrugged at her.

"We tried," he said.

"Yeah, but I know the Doc don't have hardly a bit to his name. He spent most of what he had on River's birthday present," Zoe said.

"Hey!" an idea suddenly slammed into Wash's brain. "That's it!"

"That's what?"

"I know what I'm gonna get River."

"You do?" Zoe regarded him with skepticism.

"Yeah," he said and shared his insight with her.

"Well, that idea ain't half-bad," she said with honest assessment. "See, you can be thoughtful when you try hard enough," she pulled him in and gave him a peck.

"What can I say. I'm selfless to a fault," Wash grinned. "Wait 'till you see what I've got planned for your present," he lowered his voice and kissed his wife more deeply.

"Mmm… you think you know what I want?" Zoe murmured sultrily, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I've got a pretty good idea," Wash took her by the hips and pressed her against him. "You're supposed to wait 'till Christmas, but I won't mind if you open it a little early."

"That's tempting," Zoe rested her forehead against his. "But you know what else I'd like first?" She placed her lips close to his ear. "For you to fold your shirts," she whispered, and then twisted out of his grasp, leaving him to stand there like a fool. Zoe scooped up a ball of his clothes from the floor and tossed it at him. They hit his chest and fell to the floor. He groaned and slumped his shoulders. "No complainin'," his wife admonished. "I got no problem doin' the laundry, but you gotta fold your own clothes." Wash leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling like a martyr. He _hated_ folding his clothes, but no matter what he did, Zoe never let him out of it. He bent down and pulled his heavy, cabled sweater out of the pile of brightly-colored prints. Pulling it over his head, he started up the ladder.

"I'm going shopping," he announced, glad for anything to do rather than the dreaded task.

"Shiny. Just don't forget about your shirts!" Zoe called as he disappeared through the hatch.

"Yes, dear!"

Out on the docks, Wash first took care of hawking Simon's Encyclopedia unit as he promised and picked up the gift for Mal. Then he made his way through an alley lined with street vendors selling the latest and greatest in gray market merchandise. What he had in mind for River would cost far too much at an honest merchant, but if he was lucky, he could find one "on sale" somewhere in this part of Eavesdown. After a half an hour of browsing, it became apparent to him that selection was not a problem, but price still was. Feeling discouraged, he stopped at yet another stall to sample the wares.

"See anything you like, mate?" the proprietor accosted him from behind his ramshackle counter. His Dyton accent was even stronger than Badger's.

"Hmph! Not at these prices," Wash said, starting to walk away.

"Now 'old on a second, mate. D'ya 'ave a look at these over 'ere? On special, these are. Marked down," the salesman grinned. Wash made a passing glance to satisfy his curiosity. These were a little cheaper, but still beyond his budget. One caught his eye, though, and he stopped to look more closely at it. _That would be perfect_, he sighed internally.

"Taken a fancy to that one, 'ave ya?" the man noticed his attention on the item.

"Sorry, still too much," Wash said.

"Well, what say you an' me engage in a little one on one, then, eh? How much you got?" Wash knew better than to reveal how much he had to spend, but if the man was not willing to compromise on a price within his range, it was pointless to haggle.

"Three," he gave the number of coins in his pocket. The stall owner frowned.

"Hmm… couldn't let it go for less 'an four. It's already at a discount, and I'd be takin' a loss on it otherwise."

"Fine," Wash huffed and walked away.

"Better luck next time, mate. Happy Christmas!" the man called after him.

_It's not gonna be so happy if I can't find River a present_, Wash grumbled to himself. Four platinum, and he was one short. It was time to go back to the drawing board, maybe literally. He spent another half hour scouring shops and stalls for art supplies, but found himself out of luck there as well. Thoroughly despondent now, he headed for home and his heap of shirts certain to be waiting for him on his bunk floor. His only hope was that maybe Simon had some other ideas he could offer to help him.

Back on the ship, he found Simon tending to River in the infirmary. She did not look terribly out of sorts, but it was obviously a bad time to go fishing for gift ideas. He searched for Zoe in their bunk, hoping she could provide some assistance, but she was gone, too, probably to do shopping of her own. Tugging off his sweater, he dropped onto the bed and rested his chin in his hands. In the corner, the pile of shirts glared at him mockingly. Zoe ran a tight ship, and that extended to her domestic life as well. He figured it was all those years of growing up spaceside that made her so particular about keeping their cabin clean. He did not see why it made a difference whether his shirts were folded neatly in the corner, or just balled up and tossed there. It wasn't like there was any other place to put them. But Zoe never ceased to harp on him about it. Feeling just a bit ornery, he scooped up the multicolored pile and tossed it on the bed. At least might get it over with while he considered his options for River.

He shook the shirts out, laying them flat to smooth out the wrinkles. It always surprised him to find out how many he had. He hardly remembered buying any of them. They just seemed to accumulate of their own accord. Maybe if he got rid of a few it would make this _hei ren seng_ task much easier. He halted with a shirt in midair and barked a sharp laugh as a plan suddenly materialized in his mind. It was so simple and ingenious he wondered why he hadn't though of it earlier. Not only would it give him enough money to get River the present he wanted, it would eliminate the whole folding problem as well. Tugging on his sweater again, he wadded the shirts into a ball and scrambled out of his bunk with them in arm. Closing the hatch with his free hand, he turned and smacked right into Jayne.

"Whoa, little man! Where you goin' with all them?" Jayne asked, eyeing the wad of bright fabrics he carried.

"I need some extra cash to buy River's present, so I'm gettin' rid of some 'em," Wash explained.

"Who the hell you think's gonna buy them ugly things?" Jayne snorted.

"I don't care, just as long as they give me some coin," Wash retorted.

"Won't Zoe be mad at ya?" Wash was about to snap back again, when that question struck a chord. Zoe had always liked his quirky fashion taste. She said it went with his sense of humor. And even though she never let him forget to fold his shirts, never once had she criticized him for owning too many. He glanced at the ball in his arms, reconsidering for a moment.

"I'll keep one," he opened the hatch and tossed a shirt on top of the pile down the ladder. Then he took off past Jayne, leaving the big man to shake his head.

The local second-hand shop owner only gave him one platinum for the "pile of rags," as he referred to it, but that was all he needed. Moments after the coin was in his hand, Wash returned to the stall and gladly handed over the money to the Dyton-bred barker.

"Happy Christmas!" the man called again.

"That it will be!" Wash called back, jolly this time.

1 _hei ren seng_- detestable, annoying


	8. River

_Christmas. Santa Claus and Jesus Christ. One brings presents to good boys and girls. One brings salvation to good men and women. Probability of a virgin birth approximately equal to the probability of a fat man with flying reindeer and a sleigh coming down the chimney. Statistical similarities are too unlikely to be coincidental. What do I get him?_ River's mind circumnavigated its way to question of what to buy Shepherd Book for the gift exchange. He was so sharply divided into dark and light. _Windows of sunshine and cellars of ghosts_. She knew there were things he wanted._ Salvation, revenge, peace, love, death_... the feelings tumbled through her, snowballing in intensity. She shook her head, holding it in her hands. _No, don't think about it. Not things you can get him anyway. Must be physical. Must be tangible._ She curled onto her bed, legs drawn up to her chest. It was so hard to separate what was real from what wasn't. She smelled flowers, tasted blooms on the air. No, that was in her mind again. But that meant Kaylee was near.

"River?" the mechanic poked her head into her room. "Hi. I thought I'd check and see if you needed any help comin' up with a gift for the Shepherd." Kaylee was happy. Her sunshine burned away some of the clouds.

"Yes," River said.

"Okay," Kaylee came in and sat down next to her on the bed. "Do you have any ideas yet?"

"His skin is dark, but his hair is white. The dichotomy is analogous to his internal state of being," River answered. Kaylee gave her a blank stare. She didn't understand. They never did. "I don't know what to get him," she said, turning away.

"Well, let's think a little bit, then. What are some things the Shepherd likes?"

"Praying," River answered immediately.

"Can't really buy him a prayer, but I don't think he'd mind if you said one for him."

"It doesn't matter. God doesn't listen anyway," she stated. Kaylee regarded her with a worried frown but moved on.

"Okay… well, what else can you think of?" River closed her eyes and tiptoed through the distorted minefield of her thoughts. She had to tread carefully. One wrong step would send her tumbling into oblivion. She recalled a time when the Shepherd was in the kitchen, towel thrown over his shoulder, and he was cooking up the most wonderful…

"Tastes," she said.

"What?"

"A place for his tastes," River explained.

"River, I don't… oh, oh!" Kaylee exclaimed, eyes alight with realization. "I get it. Hey, that's a great idea!" she beamed at River. It made her smile. "I can get it for you. It shouldn't be too hard to find one 'round here someplace," Kaylee said, delighted. But River was frowning again. Gifts cost money. Money she did not have. She knew Kaylee would be more than willing to pay for her, but that would not be right. A gift from her, she should pay for it.

"I'll pay," she stopped Kaylee as the mechanic headed for the door.

"Huh?" Kaylee turned round.

"I'll pay. My gift," Rive repeated.

"River, sweetie, it's okay. I can take care of it." Kaylee was lying.

"No," River shook her head adamantly. _Everyone else can pay. I can too. Just need something of value. Trade or barter._ Her sharp eyes darted around the room. She had nothing. She had come onto _Serenity_ just like He had, naked and in a box. And she had fled, fled like him into Egypt. _Running from Herod_. They had taken everything away… _everything_. She pressed her eyelids together and swallowed, clinging to the edge of sanity before she went tumbling into the abyss. When she opened her eyes, she was looking at the satin ballet slippers Simon had given her for her birthday just a week ago. She had not even used them yet. She was afraid to. Sometimes when she danced, she was dancing. Sometimes, it was not she who was moving her limbs. It wasn't safe. In any case, the slippers were worth something, enough to buy a gift for Book. Simon would be mad, but he had sold his Encyclopedia to get the captain a present. And Kaylee had sold her dress. Why should she not perform the same sacrifice? After all, that was the other side of the story. The Son had come to be sacrificed for the sake of all.

She picked up the slippers and handed them to Kaylee.

"Take them."

"No, River. You can't sell those. Simon just bought them for your birthday."

"Won't use them. Too dangerous to dance in the dark," she muttered. "Preacher needs them more than I do."

"River…"

"Please," she pleaded openly. Kaylee bit her lip unable to resist her huge brown eyes.

"All right," she gave in.

"Thank you," River murmured. Kaylee walked out with the slippers, moving a little uncertainly, but River knew the she would do as she was asked. Deep down, she felt a little regret that she never felt the smooth touch of the satin to her feet, but she was doing something for someone else now. It made her feel good, kept the darkness a little more at bay. She could shine a little light on the Shepherd's Christmas day.

* * *

Kaylee met Inara as the Companion was coming down from her shuttle.

"Going out again?" Inara asked. "I thought you were done shopping?"

"I am, for me. But I gotta get River's present for Book."

"What are you doing with those?" Inara pointed to the slippers in Kaylee's hand.

"Look, you know River ain't got no money of her own to spend. But she insisted she wanted to pay. She told me to take her shoes and sell 'em."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Kaylee," Inara warned with a frown.

"I know. I told her I would pay for it, but honestly, I'm flat broke now, too. I don't know how else she's gonna get the money. Please, Inara, don't tell Simon. She really wants to do this on her own." Inara was still frowning, but then she seemed to consider something and her expression gradually softened.

"All right, Kaylee. I promise not to tell."

"Thanks!" Kaylee gave Inara a quick hug, then hurried back into the chill with the slippers tucked into her pocket.


	9. Book

His long, black-mantled coat trailing around him, Book perused the Eavesdown marketplace for the perfect gift for Zoe. Setting foot on the docks reminded him of the last time he had been here. He had been wearing this coat then, too, and toting a suitcase. He had come across _Serenity_ and something just shouted to him that this was where he belonged. What a strange ride it had been since then. He still had his doubts occasionally, but the Lord's plans were never obvious. He had faith, though. He had to. _Otherwise…_ _no_, he turned his mind away from those thoughts. This was not a time for dwelling on himself. It was Christmas, a time for giving. _And forgiving_. He caught himself again. Closing his eyes, he uttered a silent prayer to help banish the distractions. Those darker feelings receded a bit more, to where he could ignore them again. Now, back to the task at hand. What would someone like Zoe want? In all his years he didn't think he'd ever met a woman so formidable. Despite that, he was fairly certain she would be gracious enough to accept whatever he might chose to give her, which meant that his options were wide open. However, a gift without much thought was hardly a gift at all, so he took his time, trying to consider carefully what might truly give her enjoyment as he wandered through Eavesdown's varied and colorful districts.

He passed a jewelry stall and cast an experienced eye over the selection. They were probably all fakes, judging by the prices. Zoe did not strike him as the type who would adorn herself with trinkets like those, anyhow. He had noticed she did not even wear a wedding ring, though she once explained to him the reason behind that when he asked. He had almost moved on when the glint of one piece halted his browsing. Stepping over to the counter, he picked it up and examined it. This one was real. He smiled. The proprietor must not be very skilled at distinguishing between true craftsmanship and clever forgeries.

"You interested in that one, Pops?" drawled the stall keeper.

"Yes. How much for it?" Book asked, ignoring the man's incorrect assumption.

"Four coins." At that answer, Book laid the piece back down gently. It was easily worth three or four times that much, but four platinum was still out of his range. The Abbey accorded him a small but reasonable allowance, and he tended to be generous with spreading it around the ship. Unfortunately, that left him little to be generous with for Zoe.

"Perhaps some other time," he said disappointed, but smiling at the stall keeper. Maybe Zoe wasn't one for jewelry, but even she would still appreciate a nice little bit like that. He shuffled off, putting the disappointment behind and moving onto what else he might be able to find. He passed a food stall grilling up some unidentifiable meat on an open barbecue. The heat and savory smell were comforting against the chill in the air. _Mmm… marjoram. A little heavy, though_, Book considered, recognizing the scent of his favorite seasoning wafting into his nostrils. That reminded him, he was running low. He wished he had a little extra to stock up with while they were here. Spices were awfully expensive, though. Then he stopped in his tracks. Spices certainly were expensive, and he had quite a nice collection on board _Serenity_. Nice enough that it might fetch a few coins for him, possibly even enough to buy that little bit he had just looked at. Suddenly enthused by that concept, he spun on his heel and he walked rapidly back to the ship.

Thrusting open the cargo bay door, Book marched immediately upstairs to the galley. He pulled open the cubby where he kept his inventory and took stock. Six varieties with varying quantities remained. Even so, he was fairly certain he could pull a decent deal out of them if he found the right person. He started tucking the small jars into his coat pockets and closed up the cubby.

"Goin' somewhere with those, preacher?" he was startled by Mal's voice behind him. He whirled and faced the captain standing in the doorway, his arms folded and a stern look upon his face.

"I was just… uh… I'm, uh…" Book stammered, but he knew he was caught. He lowered his head, abashed. "I'm sorry, Captain. It was my intent to sell these to help pay for Zoe's present."

"Oh," Mal's stern expression dropped.

"I just needed a little more money, and these are the only things of value that I have. I know it might make our mealtimes a might less tasteful, but I would feel awful if I did not get her something of worth."

"I understand," Mal nodded, stepping over the stoop into the dining area.

"You do?" Book blinked and uttered, even more surprised. "Oh. Then, you don't mind?"

"Preacher, Zoe's the best damn woman I ever met. Whatever you decide she's worth, you can bet I'll stand behind you on that count," Mal clapped him on his shoulder.

"Well… thank you, Captain," he said, still mildly astonished by Mal's magnanimity. He flashed the captain an uncertain smile. As Mal wandered across the dining area and towards the foredeck, Book took his spices and headed out before things got any more confusing.

Striding back into the streets with the weight of the containers in his pockets, he hurried off to the spice markets. The merchant he ultimately dealt with drove a hard bargain, but in the end Book haggled enough to get two pieces of platinum for his collection. He took his money and immediately went back to the jewelry stand and purchased the four bit piece for Zoe. He grinned, admiring it as he walked away from the stall. It would make wonderful present. He only hoped he did not outshine her husband.


	10. Zoe

Zoe strolled out into the dimming twilight of the Persephone evening. This was her last outing for the day, and she was bushed. She had finally gotten around to purchasing Kaylee a gift, which seemed a miracle in and of itself, given the day's insanity. It had cost her a lot to get it together, not the least of which was monetary in nature. She knew she would pay for it later, but right now she was grinning ear to ear. She could not resist taking a peek inside the small case she carried in her gloved hand. Within, the little opalescent item gave off a warm glow even in the failing light. Kaylee was going to fall over stone dead when she saw it. Might be it would even make Inara a little jealous. Everyone was going to question where she got the money to spend on something so fine. They would find out soon enough, though. But for now, she was brimming with excitement. No one on _Serenity_ could possibly anticipate what she had in store for them this Christmas!


	11. Christmas Day

Christmas Day arrived and the excitement on board _Serenity_ was palpable. Everyone walked around with sly grins and secret smiles. Far from their lukewarm reactions at the outset, they all seemed positively thrilled now to commence with the sharing of gifts. Adding to the festivities, Shepherd Book revealed that they had been invited to the Abbey to partake in a Christmas dinner later that evening. Because of that, it was agreed that the exchange would take place that afternoon, as no one felt they could stand to wait until after dinner to share their gifts. As the hour approached, everyone drew together in the dining area with Kaylee presiding as emcee once again. They gathered around the Christmas tree which, much to everyone's surprise, River had produced for them. Using scrap sheets of paper, she had drawn and puzzled together a completely decorated tree. She and Kaylee spent an hour laying out the sheets in order and taping them to the wall in the dining area. Soon _Serenity_ had her own full-fledged, albeit two-dimensional, tannenbaum. Even Mal was impressed and said so, eliciting a rare smile of pleasure from River.

"This is so shiny! The excitement's killin' me!" Kaylee tittered while everyone found places around the dining table.

"Yeah, it's killin' us, too. So how's about we get on with this little party so we can find out what we all got," Mal griped, but with good humor.

"Who wants to go first?" Kaylee offered.

"Me!" Heads snapped around to Jayne, his arm eagerly shooting up in the air. "What?" he responded to their surprise, slowly lowering his hand.

"Okay… I guess Jayne, you're up," Kaylee said, after an uncertain glance at the rest of the room.

"I'll be right back," Jayne darted off towards his bunk.

"I'm not sure if that's a good sign or a bad sign," Inara commented.

"Just in case, you might wanna to be ready to duck," Wash advised her.

"Okay, I'm comin' out, but you gotta close your eyes!" Jayne shouted. Inara threw a concerned look Mal's way. The captain just shrugged. Looking none too sure of herself, Inara closed her eyes. "Are they closed?" Jayne asked.

"Yes," Inara responded with a touch of annoyance. Jayne re-entered the room with his hands behind his back. He stood in front of the Companion and paused, a devilish grin on his face.

"Okay, you can open 'em," he said. Inara did, and then she blinked in astonishment as Jayne presented her with a wonderfully carved jewelry box. The wood was old and scratched in places, but the fine decorations were obviously carved by skilled hands.

"Jayne…" Inara started but was struck speechless after that.

"I polished it up as best I could," Jayne said, handing it over to her. "Uh… merry Christmas," he wished her almost bashfully.

"Thank you. It's… it's lovely," Inara admired the fine-grained dark wood, still taken aback. Jayne was blushing to the roots of his hair as he stepped back around the table to his spot.

"Yes, Jayne. That was very thoughtful of you," Book congratulated him, but his look was for Inara. She met the preacher's glance and dropped her eyes almost guiltily, though no one else seemed to notice the exchange.

"So, who's next?" Kaylee pressed on. River rose silently from her seat on the floor and disappeared out of the room.

"I guess that mean's I am," Book said. They all waited quietly for the girl to return, sharing curious looks.

"Close your eyes," River called from outside the doorway a few moments later.

"Okay," Book complied.

"No peeking!" River stuck her head around the corner.

"I'm not, dear," Book assured her. River eyed him warily, and then stepped back into the room with his gift in hand.

"Open," she commanded. Book looked at her and saw the small wooden shelf in her arms.

"Oh, my. What is it?" he asked.

"It's a place for your tastes," River explained. Book frowned, puzzled.

"It's a spice rack, Shepherd," Kaylee decoded for him with a laugh.

"Oh! Well, that's… that's wonderful, River. Thank you," Book graciously accepted his gift, but his smile dimmed noticeably. As she handed it to him, River paused a moment and screwed up her face, as if just realizing something. Then she shook her head and sat back down on the floor.

"That's somethin' that'll come in handy, won't it preacher?" Mal turned to Book with an amused smile.

"Uh, yes, yes it will," the Shepherd replied, but belatedly. "How about I go next?" he hurried to add. He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a slender box. His smile renewing, he handed it to Zoe. "For you. Merry Christmas." Zoe took it with an eager grin.

"I gotta admit, preacher, I been dyin' to find out what you got for me." Book only stood back and smiled confidently as Zoe removed the lid. Her eyes widened and her smile vanished into a look of shock once she saw inside.

"What is it?" Jayne asked, craning his head to see.

"It's this," Zoe pulled a small golden chain from the box and held it up. Jayne whistled.

"That's a pretty impressive piece o' hardware, Shepherd," Mal commented, also impressed.

"Yeah," agreed Wash. "What're you tryin' to do? Show me up?" he frowned.

"Not at all," Book laughed. "You should put it on, see how it looks," he suggested. Zoe quickly replaced the necklace in its box.

"Maybe later," she said, looking up. "Thank you, Shepherd. But let's let everyone else get their presents first."

"Well, I'm gonna go next, then," Mal volunteered. He unfurled himself from his chair and marched out towards the foredeck where he disappeared down into his bunk. A few seconds later, scrapes and grunting emanated from his direction, as if he was moving something heavy. "Hey, Wash! Better get them eyes closed!" he shouted.

"They're closed!" Wash yelled back, eyes wide open and grinning. Zoe smacked hi m in the chest. "Ow," he grunted. He closed his eyes.

"They're closed," Zoe confirmed. The captain lumbered awkwardly back into the dining area and set Wash's present down with a solid thud.

"All right, Wash. Here you are," he announced. Wash opened his eyes and jerked back in his seat when he saw his gift. "Whaddya think? Shiny, isn't it?" Mal grinned at him.

"Uh… Mal… jeez…"

"I know how much Zoe's always ridin' you about puttin' your shirts away, so now you got a place to put 'em," Mal showed off the tiny, two-drawer bureau to his pilot. "It's small enough that it should fit just right into your bunk. Fit in mine quite nice. Almost had a mind to keep it myself."

"Yeah, Wash," Jayne leered at the pilot. "Won't it be great now that you got a place to put all them shirts?" Wash just kept looking down at the chest.

"Uh… I don't know what to say, Mal" he finally turned his stunned face to the captain. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Merry Christmas," Mal said. He reclined back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head, a smile of satisfaction on his face.

"Well, Captain, why don't you open my present next?" Simon offered.

"Sure thing, Doc. I gotta close my eyes?"

"It would help," Simon smiled. Mal returned the gesture and sat up in his chair, eyes closed. Simon drew the present from behind his back and placed it in the captain's open hands. Mal opened his eyes and looked down. He frowned in confusion.

"What's this?" he asked.

"It's a display case," Simon explained of the small wood and glass frame. "Zoe told me a story. She said that you might appreciate it," he spoke with levity. Mal's eyes suddenly grew distant and he slowly lowered his gaze. Holding the frame gingerly, he swallowed hard. He didn't speak, and the silence started to draw out awkwardly. Simon threw a worried glance at Zoe. She had a sympathetic smile for him, but said nothing. The doctor's expression lightened with relief, confident that her look was a good sign.

"Well, since we're going along in this manner, I suppose it's my turn to give you your gift, Simon," Inara broke the mild tension. She handed Simon a tiny box wrapped in pale blue tissue paper and tied with an elegant gold ribbon.

"Thank you," Simon said and gently began to unwrap it.

"Ain't no need to be so careful, Doc," Jayne expressed his impatience. "We wanna see what it is sometime tonight." Simon shot him an exasperated glance and continued his meticulous unwrapping until he had exposed the lid of a small box. He opened it up and peered inside. He pulled out a tiny sliver of plastic and turned it over in his fingers.

"It's a special data card for your Encyclopedia," Inara told him. "It contains one hundred classic works of fiction. River said you liked to read, so I thought it might be appropriate." Simon just stared at the little device, a shaken look coming over his face.

"Its, ah…" he swallowed. "It's perfect. Uh, thank you, Inara," he managed a weak smile for her.

"I'm sure you'll put that to good use, Doc," Wash raised his eyebrows at Simon, eliciting a sheepish look from the doctor. "Okay, now it's my turn," the pilot went on. He produced a small object from his pocket and slid it across the table towards River. "Merry Christmas, kiddo," Wash said to her. The girl remained seated for a few seconds, then rose and picked up the object at the end of the table. Wash was grinning ear to ear as she fingered it.

"Well, what is it?" Kaylee asked. River did something to it and suddenly the sounds of an orchestra filled the dining area.

"It's a music player. How 'bout that?" Wash said. "It plays 'The Nutcracker.' I figured it was Christmas-y, plus, since I know how Simon got you those new dancin' shoes, I thought it might be shiny if you had some actual music to dance to." River pressed a button on the player and silenced the music.

"Thank you," she murmured quietly, not even looking at Wash. She sat back down on the floor, slowly turning the little player over in her hands. Wash looked a little disheartened at her muted reaction, but Zoe gave him a reassuring pat on the knee. Kaylee and Inara shared a knowing look.

"Okay… then I guess it's my turn now," Kaylee announced, her smile rebounding. "Unless, you wanna go first?" she paused, turning to Zoe.

"No, you go ahead," Zoe deferred, an intriguing smile on her lips.

"All right then. Here you are, Jayne," Kaylee walked over to him and handed him a small bag. She bounced on her heels and beamed as he slid out the small square package within.

"What is it?" Book moved beside Jayne for a look.

"It's uh… it's some strings. For my guitar," Jayne sounded almost despondent.

"What's the matter? Are they the wrong kind?" Kaylee grew concerned.

"No, uh… no. They're great. Thanks, Kaylee," Jayne attempted to smile, but it was obvious something was bothering him.

"All right Kaylee. Ready for your present?" Zoe quickly jumped in.

"Uh, sure," Kaylee nodded, still looking a little disappointed over Jayne's reaction. Zoe revealed a small box similar to the one Book had given her and passed it over to Kaylee. Kaylee flipped open the lid and her mouth simply dropped. She stared into the box for a few long seconds of silence. Then tears welled up in her eyes and she started bawling.

"What the hell is it?" Mal demanded, concerned.

"Here, let me see," Inara took the box from Kaylee and looked inside. She uttered a small gasp.

"Wow," Simon said softly, catching a glimpse of it from beside Inara.

"Well, you gonna show the rest of us?" Jayne demanded. Inara lifted the object out. Resting on her hand was a lovely string of pearls.

"I just thought Kaylee deserved somethin' nice for comin' up with this idea," Zoe said, apparently not perturbed at all by the lavishness of the gift or Kaylee's tears. "It'll go perfect with your dress," she said to the crying girl. Kaylee cried harder.

"How did you… where did you...?" Wash stammered, staring at his wife. She held up her hand to stop him and rose from her seat. "And," she said with a mischievous note in her voice, "I have a little somethin' special for everyone, not just Kaylee. Come on." She strode across the dining area and down the forward stairs. With confused expressions all around, the rest of the gathering slowly followed her down to the cargo bay. When they emerged onto the catwalk above the hold, astonished gasps filled the air.

"Oh, Zoe!" Kaylee cried and threw her arms around the older woman, sobbing uncontrollably.

"What the hell…?" Jayne muttered.

"Dear God," murmured Book.

"Zoe, what is all this?" Inara asked.

"That's what I'd like to know," seconded Mal.

"It's your stuff," Zoe stated.

"Our stuff?" Simon asked, perplexed.

"Yes. The stuff you sold off to buy each other's gifts." Everyone looked at everyone else, completely dumbfounded. "Look, it wasn't hard to work it out just by talkin' to everyone," she clarified. "But with everyone giving up things so they could buy really nice presents for the exchange when they weren't gonna be able to enjoy what they got themselves, that wasn't makin' for a pleasant Christmas. So, I went out and bought it all back." She folded her arms with a smirk of satisfaction on her lips. No one moved or spoke for a long time.

"Zoe," Mal finally broke the silence. "You're a _gorram_ angel." He looked at his first mate with wonderment.

"Thank you, sir," she beamed.

"Thank you, Zoe!" Kaylee's enveloped Zoe in another teary hug. Then she took off down the stairs and ran to her dress.

"Zoe, I… I don't know what to say. Thank you," Inara said with a mild bow of her head. Through her formal gratitude, there was real emotion in her eyes.

"Well, I think this qualifies as a genuine Christmas miracle," Book announced. "How can we every repay you?"

"No need, Shepherd," Zoe dismissed. "Seein' your face is enough." Book smiled broad, his eyes just a touch moist, and nodded. He followed Inara down the stairs.

"I don't believe it," Jayne mumbled, wandering after the Shepherd, a confused frown still on his face.

"Zoe, this is… I mean… I don't know…" Simon stammered, scratching his head. Then he stopped and just smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Doc."

"Thank you," River uttered beside him. Her head was down, but there was something in her voice that Zoe had not heard before. Maybe it was joy. Simon guided them both down the stairs to join the others.

Zoe stayed on the catwalk and watched, grinning like a fiend.

"Thanks, baby," Wash wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, planting a huge kiss on her lips.

"You're welcome, dear."

"But what I don't get is how in the Verse did you get the money to do this? It had to cost a fortune."

"Well, that's my little secret." Zoe nuzzled his nose and kissed him again.

"That's a secret I'd sure like to be privy to," Mal faced her with arms folded, but he was smiling. Zoe grinned at him, but her expression suddenly dropped.

"What the…?" Wash started with an astonished stare.

"C'mon honey," Zoe cut him off. "Let's go get your shirts," she grabbed Wash's arm and dragged him down the stairs hastily.

* * *

Mal shook his head and could not stop smiling as he took in the rapture of his crew. His family.

"Well, ain't that a right joyous sight. Warms the cockles of me heart, it does," a voice at his side said.

"It sure does," Mal replied. He grinned at the man next to him, then back at his crew, and then leaped about a meter into the air and collided with the catwalk railing, nearly having a heart attack in the process. "Badger?" he blinked incredulously at the gangster.

"Happy Christmas, Captain. Thought I'd come and share in the festivities," Badger flashed his teeth in amusement.

"Badger?" Mal repeated like a broken record.

"What?" Badger said as if it was the most normal thing in the Verse for him to be standing on _Serenity_'s catwalk on Christmas day. It took Mal's mouth a few seconds to remember how to make words.

"What in the ruttin' name of hell are you doin' on my boat?" he finally demanded.

"Just thought I'd check out the accommodations," Badger answered casually.

"The… what?"

"I'll have me personal effects brought over tomorrow. Hope that's not too early for you." Words failed Mal again and he gaped at the gangster in silence once more. "What, you don't expect me to go without some basic necessities, d'ya?" Badger asked, sounding mildly put out by Mal's reaction. "You act like it's some big surprise that… oh," he broke off with a long nod, eyes twinkling with understanding. "She 'asn't told you yet, 'as she?"

"Told me what?" Mal blurted.

"'Ere you go. It's all drawn up," he produced a piece of paper from his breast pocket and patted it to Mal's chest. "Completely kosher… as Christmas," he winked. Mal, still utterly confused, grasped the paper and unfolded it. It was a standard contract. He read over it, and his eyes bulged even wider. Badger's grin expanded. "You're lookin' at your new employer, mate. Leastways for the next month. Been lookin' to expand the business, I 'ave, so I figure you taxi me around the Verse a bit in exchange for makin' this little slice o' holiday joy possible, and Robert's your father's brother, eh?" Thrusting his thumbs into his lapels, the gangster meandered along the catwalk towards shuttle two. "Reckon that automatically gets me an invite to this little dinner your chaplain's mates are throwin'. Call me when it's time to go," he said without turning around. Mal watched him disappear into the shuttle and then stared at the contract again. He bypassed the wording and went straight to the bottom. There, next to Badger's scrawled signature, was another one he was intimately familiar with.

"_ZOE!_" he hollered from the catwalk. Flinching, Zoe turned to him with a meek smile.

"Merry Christmas!" she proclaimed.


End file.
